99 21.12.2011 22:16:35 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail, a ticket for $40.00, and a photo of his car. Instead of the payment, he sent the police department a photograph of two $20.00 bills.Several days later, he received a letter from the police department that contained another picture, of a pair of handcuffs.
96 21.12.2011 22:16:35 A little boy wanted $100 very badly and prayed for 2 weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter to "God, USA", they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a 5 dollar bill. President Clinton thought this would be a lot of money for a little boy.The little boy was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write God a thank-you note, which read: "Dear God, thank you for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, and as usual the bastards deducted $95."
98 21.12.2011 22:16:35 There's a big conference of beer producers in the most beautiful town in the world: Amsterdam, the Netherlands. At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar. The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on.Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke! "Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask."Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I."
92 21.12.2011 22:16:35 A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes that he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."The man below says, "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude."You must be an engineer" says the balloonist."I am", replies the man. "How did you know?""Well..." says the balloonist. "Everything you told be was technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost."The man below says, "You must be a Manager""I am", replies the balloonist. "How did you know?""Well..." says the man. "You don't know where you are, or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met but now it is somehow my fault."
94 21.12.2011 22:16:35 In the Immigration office... Sex? 3 times per week. No... I mean male or female? Doesn't matter.