213 21.12.2011 22:16:35 A man walks up to a female colleague in his office each day. Making a point of standing very close to her, he draws a deep breath through his nose, pauses, smiles, and tells her how wonderful her hair smells.After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer. The woman marches into her supervisor's office, tells him about the "hair thing," and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man.The supervisor is puzzled, and struggles to understand what the problem is. He asks her, "What is sexually threatening about a man telling you that your hair smells nice?""He's a DWARF!" the woman screams.
207 21.12.2011 22:16:35 A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife..."
209 21.12.2011 22:16:35 In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
193 21.12.2011 22:16:35 Starší muž přijde k čarodějnici a zeptá se jí, jestli by dokázala s něj sejmout hroznou kletbu, která ho sužuje už čtyřicet let.Čarodějnice odpoví: "Možná že ano, ale musela bych znát přesné znění slov, kterými jste byl zaklet.""To vám mohu zopakovat třeba hned: 'A protože jste splnili všechny podmínky stanovené zákonem, prohlašuji vaše manželství za právoplatně uzavřené.'"
194 21.12.2011 22:16:35 Na statku zazvoní zvonek. Mladá sedlákova dcera jde otevřít; u dveří je starý soused."Otec není doma, ale snad Vám můžu pomoct sama. Asi chcete, aby náš býk obsloužil vaši jalovici. Tatínek za to vždycky účtuje tisícovku - teda za našeho nejlepšího býka.""Kvůli tomu nejdu," říká soused."Máme ještě mladého býčka. Za toho si taťka počítá pětistovku.""To také není ono.""Na pastvině máme ještě jednoho býka. Je už starý, ale svou práci zastane. Za toho táta chce jenom stovku.""Ne, děvče, já jdu kvůli něčemu úplně jinému. Tvůj bratr totiž přivedl mou dceru do jiného stavu.""Tak to budete muset přijít, až bude tatínek doma. Kolik si bude počítat za Emila, to opravdu nevím."