23 21.12.2011 22:16:34 On the WBBM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone.If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders dropped to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBBM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando, Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please."Contestant: "Brian."DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"Brian: "Yes."DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."Brian: "Sara."DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"Brian: "She is gonna kill me."DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"Brian: "She is gonna kill me."DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"Brian: "About 10 minutes."DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."DJ: "Uh huh..."Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."Brian: "On the kitchen table."DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this. (3 minutes of commercials follow.)DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?" (touch tones... ringing)Clerk: "Kinkos."DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"Clerk: "This is she."DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate match'?"Sarah: "No."DJ: "Good!"Brian: (laughing)Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando,Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"Sarah: "Oh God, Brian.... uh, this morning before Brian went to work."DJ: "What time?"Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."DJ: "Where did you have it?"Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"Brian: "Just tell him, honey."DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing with us and..."DJ: "She saw?"Sarah: "BRIAN?!"Brian: "No, no I didn't..."DJ: "Ease up there, sister. Just messin' with your head. Your answer, please?"Sara: "Dear Lord... I cannot believe you told them this."Brian: "Come on, honey, it's for a free trip to Florida."DJ: "Let's go, sister. We ain't got all day here. Where did you do it?"Sarah: (short pause) "In the ass." (long, long pause)DJ: "We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."3 minutes later.DJ: "I am sorry for that, ladies and gentlemen. This is a live radio show and these things do happen from time to time. Anyway, Brian and Sara are off to lovely Orlando, Florida."
5 21.12.2011 22:16:34 Skotský sedlák přistihl svého čeledína, jak leze s lucernou na půdu."Kam jdeš s tou lucernou?""Na půdu za nevěstou.""Když já jsem chodil za holkou, tak jsem chodil bez lucerny!""Já jsem si to hned myslel, jak jsem panímámu poprvé uviděl."